Saturday 2 July 2022

"Emma Cadbury's Voracious Husband" 15 years ago this month!

Emma Cadbury's Voracious Husband by Mark Lee Pearson

 
Read by Hannah Mercer



 
Emma Cadbury woke up to discover that her entire body had turned into a medium class blend of milk chocolate. If that wasn't troubling enough - she had always preferred her chocolate to be expensively Fair Trade rather than cheaply mass produced - it was a hot midsummer night and the stuff had already begun to melt and stick to the sheets.

She turned over and disregarded the absurdity, trusting the dream would dissolve with the rising sun. It was still dark, there was still time, and so she set herself adrift in the safe waters of slumber.

Just when she had abandoned all thought of the predicament - sailing free on a powerful ocean, a dolphin at her side sleeking, cutting, severing the water with her dorsal fin - through the foggy clouds of sleep something odd was looming on the horizon.

She had a sense of turtles, their shells tickling, touching her keel, scraping and threatening her balance, caressing and nibbling at her toes.

She attempted to pull away from him, but the velvety sweet feel of his tongue as he followed the contour of her leg upwards soon had her licking her own lips in anticipation. It had been a long time since her husband had nudged her awake in the early hours of the morning. And sex with Max, her current lover, had never been anything more than a pleasant way to wrap up Thursday night's square dancing class.

"Oh, Reg."

"Mmmph … mmmph … Bunny … oh …"

The sound of his lips smick, smack, smacking, schlick schlock, schlacking voraciously between her legs gave a healthy and long overdue tremor to the depths of her femininity.

"OUCH!"

Emma opened her eyes wide with surprise. Something had snapped inside her. The bastard had bitten her. Taking hold of his head between her hands, she looked into his rapacious eyes.

"Stop it! I say - oh …"

But her husband pacified her, teasing her legs apart by running his tongue up the inside of her thigh and nibbling greedily on her secret chocolate button. Her eyelids folded down again as a tremor, measurable on the Richter scale, shuddered through her.

And then she opened them again with startled realization.

Emma yanked at her husband's hair. To her horror, his face was smeared with chocolate sauce.

"Get off me, you beast!"

She rolled aside, overcome with the sudden shock that her loving Reg had already consumed the entire bottom half of her left leg up to the calf and had made a good start on her inner thigh.

Her husband took the opportunity to draw her back into his grasp, fell on top of her, drooling and began to chew off her nipples . She was overcome with the strange confusion that it felt rather sexy. As he nibbled at her breast he whispered,

"Oh, my darling, let me consume you in your entirety."

Alarmed, her first instinct was to fight. Fight for her life. But his appetite was the all-consuming aspect of his spirit, and by the time the rumpus died down, the entire bed was splattered with a dark chocolaty goo.

He came at her again. Panicked, she thrashed and bucked until she found the strength to push him off. She threw what was left of her right leg over the side of the bed and it snapped clean from her hip, chocolate sauce seeping onto the floor.

Her husband clambered across the bed and slid onto the floor beside her. She made a grab for her leg, but she wasn't quick enough. He snatched it up, and she watched as he sat, a wretched chimp in a dilapidated zoo, gobbling, gobbling, gobbling up the chocolate.

She lay on the floor, breathing heavily. An oppressive cloud of defeat threatened to rain upon her. The room was suffocating, stifling hot; she imagined herself melting to death before her husband managed to consume her entire body. A pale brown bead of sweat dribbled down her face and onto her chin. She wiped it up with the back of her hand and swallowed it.

God! It did taste good. Before long she found herself biting the ends off her fingers and sucking on the chocolate sauce while her husband was engaged in eating her leg.

Then it hit her.

It was so simple. Why hadn't she thought of it before?

A vision of their honeymoon in the Swiss Alps; skiing, followed by a deluxe chocolate fondue, leading to a night of unsurpassed passion. She remembered how they had carried the bubbling chocolate to their honeymoon suite and made love with uninhibited sensuality, licking and lapping the sauce from each other's bodies.

Such an erotic feeling as she had filled her mouth with the finest chocolate in the world, hot and molten – and how he had enjoyed the taste of it mingled with her juices. And how she had given him what he had termed the perfect passion.

It had been a long time.

"Darling…"

Mrs. Cadbury's voracious husband looked up from his feast, his eyes ravenous.

"Yes?"

"Let's do the perfect passion, one last time."

A moment of calm crossed his face. He threw her leg aside and grinned with wild expectation. He drew her towards him and kissed her deeply, resisting the urge to bite off her tongue. He could do that later.

He lifted her melting torso onto the muddy bed and laid her in a comfortable position before lying down on his back himself. Her long elegant fingers reached down between her legs and dug out a dollop of creamy milk chocolate, which she began to spread thickly and evenly over his penis until it was totally smothered. She then sucked and lapped and licked, relishing the sweet, creamy taste in her mouth. And when it was gone, she slapped on another helping of chocolate.

Shlopp, shlopp, shlopp.

For sure it wasn't Fair Trade, but it was the last chocolate she would ever eat and she was sharing it with the first man she had ever given herself to.

He came, too soon as always, but it was all right. He would fall asleep and wouldn't wake up for hours. She could now begin the slow, painful, yet extremely orgasmic, and orgasmically final, experience of eating herself to death.
 
--
 
Emma Cadbury's Voracious Husband by Mark L. Pearson was read by Hannah Mercer at the Liars' League Sex & Death event on Tuesday 10 July 2007.
 
In previous lives, Mark Pearson was a punk, a DJ, a record producer, a toolmaker, a bookshop assistant, a philosopher, a translator and thief. In this life he is a teacher of English in Japan. He is married with one daughter and another on the way. He loves to tell tall tales.
 
Hannah Mercer trained at the Oxford School of Drama. Theatre credits include Julia in Two Gentlemen of Verona(Oxford Shakespeare Company), Joan in Sexual Perversity in Chicago (Battersea Arts Centre) and Biddy in Great Expectations (Brockley Jack Theatre). She has also worked on many films and voiceovers and as a roleplayer.

Thursday 9 May 2013

A Test of Fate

Nice review, thank you.


"A Test of Fate" by Mark Lee Pearson. This timely fantasy has the feel of near-future science fiction: a blood test has been developed that predicts with absolute accuracy the specific manner, but not the time, of an individual's death. Political and economic considerations have made this test mandatory in all but a few parts of the world, and the consequences are not only personal fatalism (why stop smoking if you know you're going to die of lung cancer? Why not take audacious risks as a young person if you're destined to succumb to the complications of Alzheimer's?) but also legal concerns for industry. When a woman loses her job because her employers know her death will result from work-related injuries, she decides to fight the decision in the courts. A thought-provoking story enhanced by a well-realized setting and well-developed characters.

A Big Book of Strange, Weird, and Wonderful: The Best Horror, Fantasy, and Science Fiction from the pages of 'An Unforgettable E-Fiction Quarterly' (Volume 2) available now at Amazon.






The Hermits of Hahajima

Four years after writing it and two and a half years after its acceptance into this anthology, my short story about the ghosts of dead Japanese soldiers returning from the war in South East Asia, The Hermits of Hahajima, is finally published. A very nostalgic moment. Here is the link to Amazon if you are so inclined.



Sunday 3 June 2012

Helen Bound


This month's issue includes my short story, "Helen Bound". You can purchase it at Amazon for $1.99 and have it on your e-reader today.

Saturday 12 May 2012

Honorable Mention for Whaling the Multiverse

Since changing jobs in April I have had very little time for writing. But I thought it necessary to record a certain event, which I still find difficult to believe.

It is always exciting to get some feedback on a story you have written, whether that feedback is good or bad. But feedback like this is enough to send me to the stars.

This year my story "Whaling the Multiverse" made it to within inches of the top:

 Ellen Datlow's Best Horror of the Year Volume 4 Honorable Mention List

This is a big deal for a struggling writer like me.

Thank you Ellen Datlow for taking the time not only to read my story but to consider it worthwhile enough to place on your list.

Next time, perhaps I'll make it into the book itself!

Sunday 22 January 2012

Writing Goals 2012

I write because I am a storyteller and it is what I do best. I love writing, but sometimes even the ones we love the most are the ones we are first to neglect for no other reason than that we are human.


So...



TIME TO SET A GOAL

Having read the blogposts of other writers such as JA Konrath, Nathan Bransford, and the Dead Robots, I realise that my own goals in the past have been very vague. Finish this, write that, publish some. So this year I am taking my writing goals a little more seriously. I want to be able to check at the end of the year to see whether I have a achieved what I set out to do. In order to do that I realise that the first thing I need to do is to treat my writing life as a part time job. This means no slacking off. It means getting my word count in every day. Not every other day. Not tomorrow. Like now. It means using my limited time and not wasting it.



TIME TO READ

To be able to write you must study your art. An builder does not build a house without having learned the craft by studying others. My aim is to read wide and varied this year. I plan to read at least two books a month. Ideally three. Four if possible. This will not be a problem since I usually get through more than that. Especially since I started reading on my ipod touch. But last year I did have a run where I came across a couple of books that I just could not connect with and I just ended up stopping dead. This year if that happens I will abandon the book and take up another. Easy.



TIME TO WRITE TO THE END

Since I plan to treat my writing like a part time job. I must not only carve out the time to write, but I also have to finish what I start. Who employs a builder who leaves the tiles half done because he is not inspired to mix the cement? Not me that's for sure. So I will write until it's finished. I will take responsibility for my characters and guide them to the end of the story. No more characters hanging off the edgeof the pier waiting for me to be inspired to either save them or drown them.



EDIT TO THE END

I said it last year and then got sidetracked with other projects. I said it the year before and the year before that. But this time I mean it. 2012 will be the year I finish editing "Whaling the Multiverse" and prepare it for submission. What good is a car stuck in the garage with its wheels off? Damn, editing is the hardest part of writing, but it is enjoyable if I can just stop thinking about that shiny new idea. Now I have to face up to my responsibility this year and get the work done.


SUBMIT

Complete and submit at least one short story a month and when the rejections come in find a suitable market and send it back out as soon as possible. Terry Mixon at the Dead Robot's Society suggested a points system to encourage you to reach your goal. My goal is 100 points.



1 short story written and submitted: 5 points

1 novella written and submitted: 10 points

1 first draft novel written: 15 points

1 novel edited and submitted: 25 points



So, for example, if I write 12 short stories, a novella, and submit my novel this year I have made my goal. Of course I plan to do more. I will participate in NaNoWriMo. And I would also like to finish another novel I have in progress too. 100 points is the bare minimum. I plan to exceed that goal by a long shot. I will keep track on my progress here throughout the year. Kick my butt if you feel the need. I will be.



2012 PROGRESS: 2 short stories written and submitted 10 points.





Thursday 19 January 2012

2011 My Writing Year in Review

Submissions: 17
Rejections: 12
Pending Response: 4 (1 carried over from 2010)
Acceptances: 2
Published: 3

It's a little late in coming, but here is a quick review of the ups and downs of my writing life in 2011.

In January there was a lot of backwards and forwards with the editing on short stories that had already been accepted, but I wasn't writing anything new.

In February I still wasn't writing. I hadn't written anything since finishing NaNoWriMo in November 2010.

March was a terrible month in Japan. The earthquake, tsunami, and the start of nuclear meltdown. The country was in total chaos and I almost didn't notice my short story Whaling the Multiverse published in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine.

Inspired by some positive feedback and reviews from Whaling the Multiverse, and a need to get back on my feet after the earthquake April was the month I started writing again. I wrote Montagfire's Sword for the Machine of Death anthology. Writing for MoD gave me the kickstart I badly needed. I was also asked to write an open letter about the March 11th earthquake on the Space and Time Magazine website.


May saw the publication of Tales of Blackleg Osai by Snarke P. Amor in Tales of Piratical Skullduggery at Wicked East Press.


In June I wrote The Ainu Woman of Kushiro for the Dark Tales of Lost Civilizations anthology. I workshopped it on Zoetrope, rewrote it taking into account some great suggestions, and changed the title to To Run a Stick Through a Fish.

I didn't write anything in July. I determined to work on rewriting my novel Whaling the Multiverse. I finished one editing pass.

I spent August writing and editing my novella The Tide Jewels for Wicked East Press. Also in August The Little Contractor Tool Kit appeared in Nightmares and Dreamscapes at Nightfall Publications.

In September I completed a short story called Suikawari. I workshopped it at Zoetrope and got some great feedback. I also did another editing pass on the novel.

In October I completed a short story called Transmission.  I workshopped it on Zoetrope and I had a lot of positive reviews. Dark Tales of Lost Civilizations accepted To Run a Stick Through a Fish. I also wrote a series of blogposts to get me in the frame of mind for NaNoWriMo.

In November I managed to complete NaNoWriMo with two days to spare. I wrote an autobiographical novel on my first six months in Japan working for an Eikaiwa. It is provisionally entitled Novacation for the Soul.


I spent December writing another 15,000 words to finish the first draft of that novel.

All in all I completed 4 new short stories and 1 novella. I did two editing passes on a novel in progress and wrote the first draft of a new novel. Not a particularly productive year, all things considered. But at least I can see some progress.

Next time I will write a post detailing my goals for 2012.